Juggling

Can anyone do it?

I am having troubles.

Monday & Tuesday....

I start my week well.

I have energy.

I go for evening walks.

I eat well.

Then the other days come.....\

I have no energy.

I can barely juggle and keep all the balls in the air.

Healthy eating is the first ball to drop.

Exercise is the next.

Then sleep.

How do people do it?

How do I put me first?

I need to work something out quicksmart!

Please yell at me.. I have been bad!

I disappeared for a while because...I felt like a failure :(

I stopped blogging because I stopped being healthy.
I stopped exercising.
I stopped weighing myself.

I gave myself a free pass until New Years Day thinking I had 2 months then to hit it hard for my wedding dress fitting and be in fabulour shape so I could order the size I wanted.

Well it hasn't turned out that way and here is why...

My dress wasnt supposed to be ordered until end of February but the week before Xmas I got a phonecall saying I had to come in straight away for a fitting as my dress was being discontinued.

I had not begun working on my weightloss as my wedding isnt until September and I thought I would go for broke in Jan and Feb to order a dress that is closer to the size I want to be by September. Anyway this threw a massive spanner in the works as being Xmas and party season I had put on weight.
So I went in and got measured and the lady was adament that I should order the size I am now or bigger as with my dress there are no side seams to take it out. It is a slimline dress.

She said I should order a size 14 and it can always be taken in up to 2 sizes without the bust line and stuff starting to look strange. I said that I was definitely going to lose weight and that I have actually lost 20kg over the last year and that was just for a friends wedding. I still have another 15kg-20kg I want to lose.

She said so many brides come in and say they will lose weight but most dont so we would STRONGLY advise you to order the size 14.

WAY TO MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A FAILURE STRAIGHT AWAY....

My dress wont come in until July so I have until then to kick my fat goodbye. Between going back to work full time, raising an almost 2 year old and planning an overseas wedding, I am sure I can get a routine going and lose it. and I will show that bridal shop lady that she was WRONG!

I need your help guys...I need you to help keepme on track. I will be reading your blogs and making sure I update mine. I am getting back to regular weigh ins.

Today I weigh 84kg. (Sad)......but next week I will weigh less because of the hard work I will put in from now.

Not angry...just disappointed!

Have your parents ever said that to you?

I always remember being more fearful of the word 'disappointed' than the word 'angry'.

I hate people being disappointed in me.

Worst of all, I hate being disappointed in myself.



So I have been bad, so bad that I am finding it hard to type.
Something happened this week and I am still trying to understand and sort through it.
No, not anything dramatic or sad but something.

I reached a goal 2 weeks ago. I got to the 80Kg mark.
Thats where it all went wrong.
I started to get slack.
I havent exercised.
I have eaten so badly that I can not even tell you what I have eaten.
If its bad, it has been eaten.

Last weeks weigh in saw me put on 500grams. I didnt post about it because I was embarrassed. So I kept eating. Then a whole lot of things called life got happened. Stress, work, tiredness and with that more eating.

You know this is a big problem for me and I know I need help because life will always happen. I can;t control it, but I should be able to control what I put in my mouth.

I dont want to get on the scales this Sunday but I will.

Maybe I can get out of this hole if I try really hard tomorrow and Saturday so that the remaining 3 weeks until my holiday can be a success with diet and exercise.